I’ve wanted to start this blog for a while now. I am a writer, and there are things I will talk about with no problem… probably things I shouldn’t talk about. I have, in the past, talked about my sexuality, my political beliefs; I have written poems about intimate details of personal relationships that I probably shouldn’t have shared. People see me as an open person.
But there is this huge space in my life full of things I find impossible to talk about from a personal perspective. For a variety of professional and personal reasons, I don’t talk openly about my own mental health. I am worried about being perceived as incompetent or unprofessional. I am worried that people will not want to be my friend, in case I make too many ‘crazy’ demands. I am worried people will think I have too much baggage to be in a relationship with me. I am worried that talking about my mental health openly will mean revealing many secrets that the people I love would prefer I kept hidden.
But there isn’t enough mental health blogging. Probably for the reasons outlined above. And there needs to be. Not just encouragement blogging, self care blogging, but real down and dirty blogging, the kind that tells you you’re not alone but other people have been there before and you can find your way out.
As Matt Haig said, in his Reasons to Stay Alive, ‘You are in a dark, dark land with a population of millions.’
I want my blog to be a torch beam so that, even if the whole world stays pitch black, you can see there’s someone out there looking for you. Hold on.